Everybody who has grown a beard realizes at some point, that proper maintenance is more than just shaving. Would you go without washing your hair, conditioning, and shampooing?
Of course 93% of you wouldn’t. So why do we think we can do the same with our beards? The answer is because we didn’t have beards when mommy showed us how to maintain our hygiene, and also because the scraggly look fit your gothic phase in high school.
But now we have ladies to impress, jobs to maintain and, we’ve become quite classy fellows; so it’s important to understand why we should find a good beard oil and know what we should expect from a quality product.
A good beard oil will condition the hair, provide a healthy shine, prevent beardruff, function as a styling agent and moisturize the skin. That’s right, it’s essentially the fountain of youth for your face.
In this article, we’ll look at the top 10 beard oils, study their ingredients, discover why people like them, and then we will publicly shame them for their short-comings.
“It’ll be fun”, said Dora the Explorer’s masculine twin sister as she smiled through a five o’clock shadow and led you into a magical world of bearded discovery.
Below we’ve reviewed the top 10 best beard oils on the market in 2018.
Table of Contents
- 10. ArtNaturals Beard Oil
- 9. FULLLIGHT TECH Beard Care Oil
- 8. Cedar Scent Pacific Northwest Beard Oil
- 7. Bossman JELLY Beard Oil
- 6. Smooth Viking Beard Oil
- 5. Honest Amish Classic Beard Oil
- 4. Mountaineer Brand Beard Oil
- 3. The Gentlemen’s Beard Oil
- 2. Leven Rose Fragrance Free Beard Oil
- 1. Guybar Maneshine Natural Beard Oil
- Which Beard Oil Should You Buy?
10. ArtNaturals Beard Oil
Art Naturals Beard oil is a leave-in conditioner that is designed for daily application. It is made from all natural ingredients and is a scentless product. This item is designed for the rugged man who knows that his natural smell is better than anything that can be mass produced in China.
This beard oil is comprised of Jojoba, vitamin E, and 100% Moroccan Argan oils. It is designed to moisturize the face and facial hair. This product reportedly promotes hair growth, just in case you couldn’t do that on your own.
- All Natural
- Not for Styling
9. FULLLIGHT TECH Beard Care Oil
Full light Tech beard care oil comes in a fancy box and uses 100% natural ingredients. Jojoba oil, vitamin E and argan oil ensure a smooth face and a nourished beard. Fulllight Tech’s beard oil is scented, but remains courteous of sensitive skin.
This is for the man that respects his sensitive side but knows that his natural odor is a deal breaker. This product claims faster growth and denser hair growth. Do not use this product ladies.
- Good Price
- All Natural
- Sensitive Skin
- I’ve never seen 3 L’s in a row
- Fancy box attracts expensive women
8. Cedar Scent Pacific Northwest Beard Oil
Cedar Scent PNW Oil is like the nuclear age of beard oil. Using a potent combination of Jojoba oil and Cedar scent, this leave-in conditioner would literally function as a form of currency during an economic collapse.
When Cedar Scent PNW Oil entered the market, the price of gold dropped. If that’s not enough, consider that it has hypo-allergenic properties making it great for sensitive types.It also promotes hair growth… in the form of miniature cedar trees
- It smells like a fricken Cedar
- Viable Form of Currency
- Melts Women’s hearts
- Above Average Price
- Manufacturer Requires Copy of Man Card Upon Purchase
7. Bossman JELLY Beard Oil
Bossman’s Jelly Beard Oil is a different kind of product compared to the above list. It’s ingredient list is so long that if I were to write it out in a proper sentence, it would form a small novel: Soy Bean Oil, Beeswax, Castor Seed Oil, Sunflower Seed Oil, Avocado Oil, Shea Butter, Cocoa Seed Butter, Tocopherol, and Essential Oil Scent.
Apply this leave-in jelly after a shower and pat dry with a towel. It’s like the Neo of moisturizers, makes people cringe if you say it’s title in public and doubles as a lubricant.
- Multiple Scent Options
- Could Moisturize Sand Paper
- Doubles as Lubricant
- Mid Range Price
- Say Jelly with a Straight Face
6. Smooth Viking Beard Oil
This beard oil sounds like the name of a killer pub, “The Smooth Viking.” It’s common knowledge that Vikings wrestled bears and choked them out with the long braids of their hair, so you know that this product has gotta be good.
This leave-in conditioner utilizes Olive Oil, Carthamus, Safflower Seed Oil, Castor Oil, Avocado Oil, Sweet Almond Oil, Argan Oil, Pumpkin Seed Oil, Jojoba Seed Oil, Fragrance, and Vitamin C Acetate. This conditioner is great for your facial hair and your skin. I bet you wonder how I know that? I read the ingredient list. It’s amazing. It contains everything that the three wise men wanted to bring baby Jesus.
- 100% Natural
- Smells Like a Viking
- Great Conditioner
- Mid-Range Price
- Smells Like a Viking
5. Honest Amish Classic Beard Oil
Ok, so as an Amish product, we don’t even have to read the label to know that this product is made for beards by beards, is 100% natural, utilizes organic ingredients and would smell like feet if it wasn’t scented. The ingredient list of the Honest Amish uses avocado, virgin pumpkin seed, sweet almond, apricot kernel, and kukui oil.
These ingredients are a tight-knit gang of skin softening, beard thickening, mug moisturizing, natural ingredients that are hand mixed and smell like licorice… I’m not gonna lie, I was really enjoying that sentence until the licorice part. Oh well, it’s better than feet.
- Amish Product
- Great Ingredients
- Organic and Natural
- Smells Like Black Licorice
- Might Break the Will of Sensitive Users
4. Mountaineer Brand Beard Oil
The Mountaineer Brand Beard Oil lists its ingredients in Latin, and I’m not really sure how to take that. Do mountain men speak Latin, or are they avid readers?
Either way, this leave-in conditioner uses all the good oils that would be foraged by a mountaineer to keep his beard soft for his lady… wherever it is they keep their women. Vitis Vinifera, Prunus Dulcis, Ricinus Communis,(Grape oil, Almond oil, and Castor Seed Oil, for us English speaking posers) and Essential Oils keep the beard hydrated and conditioned while protecting and moisturizing the skin.
If you have ever wanted to smell like Coal or Pine Tar, then this is the oil for you. Let’s just be glad that those items aren’t in the ingredients.
- Raises the Appearance of Your IQ
- 100% Natural
- Made for Men
- People Will Know Your Not A Mountaineer
- Mid-Range Price
3. The Gentlemen’s Beard Oil
You would think that they could just call this product Beard Oil and Gentlemen would know it was for them. This oil is a leave-in conditioner that promotes hair growth while moisturizing your skin and your beard.
Of course it’s an all-natural, hand-made, non-GMO, genuine gentlemen’s product! What do you think I am? a Bum!? It’s also non-scented so that you may still smell the fear of other men. This product has an ‘A’ list of ingredients including; Argan Oil, Evening Primrose, Jojoba oil, Sunflower Seed Oil and Vitamin E.
Due to the fact that there are no scents nor additives, this oil is ideal for sensitive skin. Unfortunately, this product has not been tested on animals.
- Great for Sensitive Skin
- Not Tested on Animals
2. Leven Rose Fragrance Free Beard Oil
This beard oil is a leave-in conditioner and a tongue twister. Men use the name of this product to show women that they have agile lips. This product is wisely produced without a scent, so as not to cause any allergic reactions or irritation, which would be a real bummer after all that tongue-twisting.
Leven Rose has also made this a vegan product, to help promote conversations that showcases your sensitive and caring side. Organic Jojoba Oil and Argan Oil ensure that your skin stays soft along with your facial hair while promoting growth and shine.
- Ideal for Sensitive Skin
- Promotes Foofiness
1. Guybar Maneshine Natural Beard Oil
Guybar sure knows how to woo us with his titles. Maneshine Beard Oil is a light product that promotes shiny, healthy beards and radiant, moisturized skin. All natural ingredients help to eliminate beardruff and tame the scrag with the help of; Glycine Soja Oil, Soybean Oil, Almond Oil, Peppermint, Limonene, and Linalool.
The addition of peppermint also soothes dry skin and believe it or not, smells like peppermint. Rub this conditioner into the beard vigorously, comb, and let it work its magic.
- All Natural
- Good for Sensitive Skin
- Smells like Peppermint
- Does not Contain Cedar
Which Beard Oil Should You Buy?
Anyone who has made it this far is most likely going to combine all the ingredients that we repeatedly saw in this article, learn from the mistakes of those who tried too hard, add shark testosterone and be a millionaire in under a year.
That being said, I think we all have a great understanding of what beard oils provide and why we should use them. Now that we are aware of the top 10 Best Beard Oils, we can now make shallow decisions based on pictures and how the product titles make us feel.
Seriously though, with our shiny, soft and well-manicured beards, we won’t even have time to enjoy them for ourselves. We’ll be too busy getting raises at work and compliments at home. A special thanks to Vikings, lumberjacks, mountaineers, and the Amish for making this all possible.